The Natural Things We Do

Recently, I’ve been reading comments on a website concerning the nature of homosexuality, or, how homosexuality is wrong because it’s unnatural. So of course, me being me, rather than argue against a point someone’s making, I prefer to take that point and stab reality with it again and again. Okay, maybe not stab reality too much; I’m not cruel or anything.

So this morning I started thinking that if something is wrong because it’s unnatural, what are the things I do that are unnatural and, therefore, are wrong for me to be doing?

The first thing that caught my attention was my flipping on of a light switch. Totally unnatural. In fact, it could be argued that the electricity made in a power plant is unnatural. So whenever I plug an electronic device into a wall socket, that should make me feel dirty. It’s just so wrong to do.

And if electricity as a product is unnatural, isn’t the water I use unnatural as well? I mean, it’s not like I get my water from a river or a well. It comes from a water treatment plant, where it’s unnaturally made safe for me.

That makes me wonder: If I went out on a hike and came across a stream, would I drink that water? It doesn’t come in a plastic bottle like I’m accustomed to. How do I know that stream isn’t filled with disease?

Speaking of disease, weren’t my immunization shots unnatural? If my body naturally contracted and fought off a virus on its own, or if I had some help from natural medicines, that would be okay. But since I was unnaturally immunized, I’m in the wrong.

And when I’m wrong about something, I like to feed my self-pity. But if I go to a grocery store, that wouldn’t be natural.

On a side note, I remember walking into a local store not too long ago, feeling like a hunter stalking his prey. Fortunately, my prey didn’t put up too much of a fight. You know, it was already plucked, deboned, cut, and wrapped. That’s the way I like my prey. Seriously, if I had to actually hunt and kill animals for food, I would become a vegetarian. Or, most likely, a vegan. I’m so squeamish when it comes to even the thought of milking an animal.

In fact, reading the labels on my food products – all of which are boxed, canned, or frozen in a bag – it’s clear that everything I eat is unnatural. I admit it. My diet is shit. No, my diet is worse than shit because shit is natural.

On a semi-positive note, I don’t drive, but I do regularly ride the local bus. Vehicles are unnatural and, therefore, wrong. I’m glad I don’t drive, because walking is natural, but that bus habit is going to be so hard to kick. It won’t be easy, considering that I’ll also have to stay away from bicycles. They’re unnatural, too. I guess I’ll have to learn how to ride a horse.

Looking at all of the unnatural things I do on a daily basis, including typing on my laptop (I guess I could chisel my posts on stones and attempt to throw them at everyone, which would be ironic since throwing stones at people is something I prefer to not do) it looks like I’m pretty much wrong a lot more often than I’m right.

So if a gay person is doing something wrong because being gay is unnatural, then I say to those who make such an accusation to let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

You know, because you can’t send a message with your computer and claim to be taking part in a natural act.

4 thoughts on “The Natural Things We Do

  1. “No, my diet is worse than shit because shit is natural.” Awesome haha! I’ll add: wearing high heels is unnatural, it screws with our bodies. Wearing clothes. Going to sleep on a bed. Using an iphone…..the list is endless 😉

  2. Well said!
    In an era when the world is once again at each other’s throats and when one would be forgiven for wondering whether there is something on the horizon that will be very unpleasant and possibly more horrific than anything the 20thC threw at our grandparents and great-grandparents surely people have more to concern them than who somebody goes to bed with. Is sexuality more foul than terrorism? Does not homophobia share characteristics with those who believe that their religion, social system and political system is superior to others?

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