Two Angels Walk Into A Juice Bar On The Morning Of The Seventh Day

Angel 1 – Hey, Larry.

Angel 2 – Hey, Kev.

Angel 1 – So I haven’t seen God around this morning, is He getting off to a late start after that Six Days of Creation Marathon?

Angel 2 – No, He’s just resting.

Angel 1 – Resting?

Angel 2 – Yeah, resting.

Angel 1 – Define resting.

Angel 2 – You know, lounging around, not doing anything.

Angel 1 – What do you mean God’s not doing anything?

Angel 2 – He’s not doing anything. Don’t you think He deserves the rest?

Angel 1 – How can He rest when He has an entire infinite universe to run?

Angel 2 – I’m sure it can run itself for one day.

Angel 1 – How can you be sure? It’s completely brand new. We’re only six days into the one-year warranty period; the possibility of something going wrong is still astronomical.

Angel 2 – Relax. The universe is fine. God barely created it.

Angel 1 – He barely created it and now He’s abandoning it?

Angel 2 – Well, you know what they say, ‘Art is never finished, only abandoned.’

Angel 1 – You know, when you grin like that, it makes me feel like you’re brushing me off.

Angel 2 – I am brushing you off.

Angel 1 – That’s not funny.

Angel 2 – Why can’t you just let this go?

Angel 1 – This is a serious situation we have on our hands. G-o-d is M-I-A.

Angel 2 – I think He can hear you even when you’re whispering.

Angel 1 – What if something goes horribly wrong?

Angel 2 – I think He can spell too. He kind of invented it.

Angel 1 – What if a planet falls out of alignment and crashes into the Earth?

Angel 2 – Then the Earth will have a second moon.

Angel 1 – What about all of the living creatures and… man!

Angel 2 – I’m sure they would all be just as happy living on the second moon.

Angel 1 – They would all DIE in horrific, fiery deaths!

Angel 2 – I’m sure God thought of that and accounted for it before taking His rest.

Angel 1 – But what if something even worse happens while He’s resting?

Angel 2 – Something worse?

Angel 1 – What if space-time is completely torn for some unforeseen reason and the very fabric of the universe is suddenly shredded from one infinite end to the other in a matter of seconds?

Angel 2 – Seconds?

Angel 1 – Seconds!

Angel 2 – I’m sure God could take a needle and thread to it.

Angel 1 – How can you be so sure?

Angel 2 – Because He’s God? I don’t know. That simply strikes me as a fact that should bring a certain sense of ease.

Angel 1 – So you’re not at all worried that God is resting?

Angel 2 – Not at all.

Angel 1 – Seriously?

Angel 2 – Seriously.

Angel 1 – But the universe is so vast and complex and it needs someone at the helm at all times!

Angel 2 – Actually, I think the universe is pretty much self-sustaining.

Angel 1 – What if there’s an emergency?!

Angel 2 – Didn’t we already go over this?

Angel 1 – What if I have to ask Him a question?!

Angel 2 – Is it really important?

Angel 1 – Yes!

Angel 2 – Well then it’ll just have to wait until tomorrow.

Angel 1 – Well that’s just great!


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