Rain slices through the light.
Lightning flashes in the night.
Night falls on a single moment in the life I was,
in who I was in the cold before.
Before I found myself lying here.
Before I found myself dead.
Dead and unburied, my ashes spread nowhere,
each grain carrying across the wind same dreams.
Dreams of strolling through gardens not my own.
Nightmares of the ones I can’t go back to.
To the truth of what I now realize:
If God had loved me,
would He not have shown me what love is?
If love is abandoned, then call me love.
If faith is abandoned, then call me faith.
If hope is abandoned, then call me hope.
Show me what I now understand,
that You never abandoned me
because You were never with me.
You trusted me to do this myself,
to find my own way through.
And I did.
But show me not what I was,
for the better of us,
for our eternity.