You Had Me At Hello… Had

I don’t need you,
not anymore.
I don’t need to hope to see you
or hope you notice me
or hope you talk to me.
I don’t need my name on your glistening lips
or anything else of mine, for that matter.
I don’t need you to subtly approve of my advances,
with that ‘come hither’ stare
drawing me into your cage without bars,
locking me up and swallowing the key.
I don’t need the cliché long walks on the beach
or the candlelight dinner for two
served by a waiter only pretending to speak French.
I don’t need to romance or be romanced
or hold hands, spinning in circles as a foreshadow
to what living together in an average household feels like.
I don’t need to prop you up when you feel like falling
and I don’t need you
to cradle my perceived deficiencies.
I don’t need you to tenderly stroke my hair,
telling me everything’s going to be okay.
I don’t need you to love me
because, frankly, I love myself
and that is all the love I need.
In fact, my love is so powerful
that it’s not just for me; it’s for everyone,
everyone who wants it. And to everyone who doesn’t,
I’m glad you don’t need me
because I certainly don’t need you.
I don’t need you to make me feel like a real person
as I am a real person;
much more real than you can possibly imagine
in your flowers and candy mind.
Yes, I reject your attempts to buy my affection
with the special trinket of the week.
I reject your promises to deliver to me the stars
from the overjoyed heavens above
that you claim you can reach
but never prove to me that you can.
Well, I can reach them.
I’m doing it right now.
Not because I have something to prove to you
but because I have something to prove to myself.
That I don’t need to be your prisoner.
That I don’t need you tied to my bed
to feel whole,
to realize that I’m worthy of living.
To realize that the sun shines for me.
To realize that when God said, “Let there be light,”
I said, “Let it be for me, bitch.”
I remember now,
remember that my strength and divine beauty
are my own;
on my own.
With you not needed to complete me.
Sorry Tom and Renee, but that shit don’t fly anymore.
Not now, not ever again;
unfortunately for you
since you now can’t bury me in that very notion,
‘til death do us part.
But try not to be sad.
Everything I’ve said applies to you as well,
to your strength and your divine beauty;
on your own.
I hope you don’t need anyone
because, frankly, your love is enough for you
and, frankly, it’s powerful enough for everyone too.
It’s just not for me.
I realize that.
So arm’s length now, please,
‘cause I’m turning to walk away
and I don’t want to hit you with the door
on my way out.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “You Had Me At Hello… Had

    1. I wrote this one at least two years ago (I don’t recall exactly when.) It’s something I intended to be an anti-Valentine’s Day poem. At first, it was pretty harsh, but as I kept writing, it ended up softening a bit, like anger that somewhat subsides. I believe the point was to show someone who finally realizes that they don’t have to depend on someone else to love them in order to feel loved.

      I say, “I believe,” because, like I said, it’s been a good while since I wrote it. I just found it buried in my files and figured I’d post it. There were also a bunch of other old poems that I found so I might post them as well as the days go on.

      Thank you for your comment. I appreciate it. 🙂

      1. I’m glad you posted it, otherwise I would have never read it, or had the joy of reading it. And I understand about the fact that a person’s struggle with love and their developing understanding that dependency isn’t needed in life, and also, the fact that it is an anti-Valentine’s Day poem, as I feel like it is majorly overrated, but I wonder if that’s only because I don’t have anyone to celebrate it with! And thank you for replying, it’s been good to hear your thoughts as well as poetry.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s