Clowns Inspire Laughter

What they do not see
is how I hold back the tears,
how I am always on the edge
of breaking,
how much energy
it takes
to hold the illusion,
the shape I hold
to appear not crazy.

What they do not see
is a fight that tears me up,
beats me down,
knocks me all ways sideways,
always,
in my thinning, coarse
Mind, Emotion, Soul, Spirit,
of course a MESS, but never
to them, I can only hope.

What they do not see
is that “weird” is the mask
I need to wear
to cover a broken being,
broken again and again
without remorse, it seems,
without sincere apology
or sincerity in caring,
or do I not know caring?

What they do not see
are the questions asked
when the hate flows
for everything every day.
Is it my hate I feel?
Is it hate from others?
Why do I only feel hate?
Do I not know love?
Why do I not know love?

What I do not see
is what they see,
is what they feel.
What I do not know
is what they share,
what they experience.
They experience my smile
as I paint a show for them
because that’s what clowns do.

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2 thoughts on “Clowns Inspire Laughter

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